If You Aren't Part of The Solution...

I had to take 2 sips of coffee before starting this one. It is a task to write in a Christian blog and not get your feelings involved. You see, the subject matter happens to be a passion of mine because there have been entirely too many ministers, preachers, evangelists, so-called teachers, pastors, and bishops that qualify themselves to minister the Word of God laced with the opinions of man and causing for there to be more detriment than good. God didn't tell the 5-fold ministry to do that. Preaching the "good news" was all that was required. No one got up to put on their finest to hear about what your wife cooked or didn't, what your children could have been, or why you moved into your third mansion when most of the congregation is struggling to pay one utility bill.

Okay, what happened!

Don't ask me that. This isn't gossip. It took me some time to digest the information, have an epiphany, be flabbergasted, and then come up with an entry that is for edification, exhortation, and comfort (1 Corinthians 14:1-4 AMP). The truth of the matter is, I wasn't going to write it at all. I saw the gossip vlogs and decidedly did not want to be a part of that. Also, please keep in mind that this is a Christian dating blog for the purposes of marriage. And please, read this entry in it's entirety to get a full perspective of this life lesson lest you be in the tangled web of deception.

Back, back in the day, as we have seen in the movies (mostly westerns), there used to be a man in a covered wagon selling this magical elixir that was supposed to heal everything. Now maybe once upon a time, someone made him some sarsaparilla tea and it helped his long termed stomach problems and he was so excited about it, that he had to tell everyone (I'm making an excuse for him - do you see that?). So because of his excitement, people believed what he was selling and it did help those that had the same issues or even headaches. But it didn't take away the cancer or make the broken bones heal all the more faster. What was he going to say to those that complained? Nothing. He learned from the first town. So he sells the elixir and moves on to the next town. This guy with the best of intentions, initially, understands that his elixir isn't magical at all. It helps with his stomach. He should sell it with that knowledge that he knows of for sure. But that truth wasn't making him the kind of money that he knows he could have. With the next town and every single town after that, he continues with his marketing strategy. He was known as a grifter but eventually he is better known as a charlatan. When your reputation proceeds you, its best for you to lay low until the smoke clears. Or maybe explain why you went and continue to sell goods that you knew could not do all that you claimed. If you disregard sound advice, then you can't be upset with the consequences (Proverbs 1:7 KJV).

We meet these types of people everyday. Sometimes, they let us know what sort of person they are directly, sometimes we can figure it out because we have lived a life and have seen much. Nevertheless, for the most part those that wish to be genuine, continue to be so. If claiming to be a Christian and  then try to get over on God's people - get ready to get the punishment of a mama bear protecting her cubs! God is good and is a good Father (Matthew 7:11 AMP). He provides for His own. If you pray to need something, He will supply it. The supply is not for the purposes to be stolen by some slick talker.

Awhile ago, I wrote an entry entitled, Slim Pickn's (click on the highlighted title to read the entry). In it, the information was to encourage you to know as we get older and the selection gets smaller and smaller - it is a good thing. You are maturing and being able to spot the wolf in sheep's clothing is easier. I also wrote an entry entitled, The Summer is Over and So Are We. This came from a Ricki Lake episode from back in the day. She had a guest who is a born again believer that called herself being patient for years. She happened upon this man coming to her ministry of worship. She was on her guard and with much deliberation, dating, and conversation, she accepted his proposal of marriage. They had the ceremony and all...but God. You have to read it to find what happened. God will step in where you invite Him. But if you proceed with matters that He has already warned you about, you can't blame anyone else. 

This brings me to the topic by which this entry is entitled. Earlier in the month of March 2021, in my newsfeed on Instagram, I received a video of ...let's call him, Mr. Man. He was apologizing for a scandal that erupted some 7 months ago with rumors. You see, I saw one of his videos about 5 years ago on Facebook. I never heard of him before and what I was listening to sounded like something men needed in their lives. A good swift kick in the pants! I didn't make it a practice in listening to his message because it had too much profanity and wasn't coming from a Christian perspective. A few years later, I noticed that he cleaned up his language and tried to incorporate God into the message. I was on my guard because I didn't hear the name above all names (I say this now). Women were eating it up. He had his niche. His following on Instagram as of Monday, March 22, 2021 was 2.5 million. Later, I saw he labeled himself as a public figure and a relationship expert. When he announced on Tuesday of the same week about his infidelity and that he and his wife are going to work on their relationship, his following was 1.3 million. I was disappointed but not shocked. I read many of the comments mostly from women and how they empathized with his wife. I also noticed the men warning Mr. Man that he was about to be roasted by all of the women he fooled into believing him. 

Earlier in this entry, I mentioned that I had to digest this information. Mr. Man had been selling his elixir for 9 years. According to his mistress, she had known him for 12. Mr. Man says he has had multiple women. The epiphany was that as many scandalous things that has happened in the church, I had to ask myself, did the preacher, teacher, minister, evangelist, prophet, and/or apostle believe what he was teaching? When asked to other congregants, they have said to me on more than one occasion:

"You have to listen to the message and not look at the man." 

Even writing that, I had to pause to keep calm. Really? Do you really think people would hear the message if he looked like a vagabond? We know that we are looking at the whole picture. That's why he can be heard. We are people and visual until we learn to use the faith. Please don't tell no one that ever again!

In this particular case, Mr. Man is attractive. He knows that. He capitalized on it. And then when no one was looking he really capitalized on it! He had a message that angry, vulnerable women needed to hear. Women are doing it all themselves because they have no other choice while being patient to be found. They are teaching their daughters the same thing. The point is, Mr. Man never believed anything he was saying. It was a bill of goods that got his books sold. He knew women were angry because they were only supposed to be helping the men. The comment I made to his wife: your husband has over 1800 posts of advice he gives to having a sound relationship. He also talks about men who are narcissistic. He tells women to run from them. Take your husband's advice.

If anyone chooses to work on their marriage, there is nothing to criticize. Good on you. We will be praying. If you choose not to, please do not allow the enemy to put a shadow of guilt around you. There are scriptures that allows you to walk away and be at peace for the decision you made. With that understanding, also know that the ones that have caused the pain through deceit - you have a debt to pay. God is not mocked (Galatians 6:7 KJV).