There is a recent entry to this blog entitled, The Glue To A Marriage. In it is described the mistakes that were made when the original message was heard and then I read the Word for myself. By that time, my marriage had failed. Things done would have been different if the lessons came from the real truth. It is why I continue to write for my brothers and sisters in Christ to learn for themselves so not to fall in the same error.
This entry is from the reaction I hear women talk about dealing with their marital duties (1 Corinthians 7:4 AMP). I see the look on their faces as they describe sex as being such the chore like laundry and washing dishes. The euphoric look in their eyes as they use to have when they were dating is gone. What happened to that mystique that we all wish would never go away? Those tingles and the butterflies in our stomachs at the sight of the intended when they are close by, what happened to that? Do we get use to the other person and eventually go look for that loving feeling elsewhere? Is that why they use to call the wandering eye the 7 year itch back in the day. They don't use that term anymore because many times it has been less then 7 years. With technology being what it is today,one doesn't have to go far for the eye to wander. If someone decides to watch porn he doesn't have to go to a seedy motel or that nasty place some communities have that sell certain kinds of adult material. Porn is free and is as accessible as requesting it on a search engine with a click of a mouse. He doesn't have to wine and dine her, no wooing, and doesn't have to get rid of her the next morning. When finished, all he has to do is click and the screen looks the same as it did before deciding to sit with the Holy Spirit to watch other people do what is unseemly in His sight (1 Corinthians 6:19 AMP). Is that where the mystique, tingles and butterflies went?
As much as I have heard men, women, and collectively people talk about marriage, dating, and relationships, I try to piece together the related elements these people have in their descriptions to come out with the resolve as to why the one thing both desired in the beginning has turned into a chore for one and the other is starved to get (1 Corinthians 7:28 AMP). Women are counting the holes in the pattern of the ceiling tiles, which tells me they have completely disengaged themselves from the activity that is supposed to be pleasurable for both. Men tell their friends these outlandish tales of being able to have the stamina for all night long excursions and ready to service the next day if need be, which tells me if you have to talk about it that much - you aren't getting any (Proverbs 25:14-15 AMP). What happened? And basically, that question is posed to the men.
Pastors don't readily give the men the don't do this or that sermons. I suppose they are happy to have the men in the building and if they give too many rules, the men are apt to leave. If that is the truth pastors, get ready for the men to leave. What you fear will come upon you (Job 3:25 AMP). Men need guidance just as the women do and most of the time they need more (John 10:1-8 KJV). If they are to be trained to be the head, why then give the women the more instruction (Ephesians 5:23 KJV)? The women are the body. The body doesn't lead the head. It just doesn't make sense. How does it make sense to you? Can you imagine a woman listening to all of the rules she needs to do and being frustrated trying to get them all done, when her husband just sits there believing that he is on point to what God has expected of him based on the sermons he has heard over and over again through out the years? There is plenty of blame to go around and God isn't hearing all of that because we know better. What He hears are the prayers of the righteous (1 Peter 3:12 KJV). What He does answer to are the babes in Christ who are trying but are in error because of warped teaching. What He will do is judge those that teach (James 3:1-3 AMP). Be warned Pastors, be warned.
Men need to learn about love and be taught how to practice it on a daily basis like breathing (Matthew 22:36-40 KJV). He needs to know that what he does and is pleasing to God will draw him closer to Him. As he does this, God will see the need and meet it beyond his expectations. There is no sorrow in that (Proverbs 10:22 KJV). There are no regrets with that end result and there are no appointments for counseling trying to figure out what went wrong (Proverbs 11:14 AMP). She isn't frustrated because he has learned how to love her as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25 AMP). Because of this, there are no outlandish tales of his abilities and she doesn't have time to count patterns in the ceiling. They are both about their Father's business and happy to do so. But then again, how is it that we expect for pastors, preachers, evangelists, apostles, and prophets to teach us something that they aren't doing themselves? Selah.
I recently watched The Housewives of New York on Bravo, a rerun. In it, the women went on vacation and their tour guide was showing them a Moroccan building with Arab artifacts. Jill Zeran had all of these questions for the tour guide. He revealed to them, in answering one of her questions, that the Arab men married a certain number of women along with their hand maidens. One of the wives added how many women one of the men had to service and came up with each having sex with the husband once a month. Jill added, "sign me up for that." her statement sounded sad and would have been best for her not to have added anymore then what was said. Her husband was going to watch that show not to mention her one and only child, though her reaction was not unusual. Women are not happy with their sex lives these days. It is bothersome to me and not isolated. Why do you think that is?
One of the most popular entries to this blog is entitled, The Lower Nature. I understand what viewers are expecting to read and for the most part, it is what I intended to write. However, with what is already propagated on the internet and where ever else you could look for it, doesn't have to be here. I believe to be led of the Holy Spirit to give information to live a life that is full without wondering if you did the right thing. It is why there is so much scripture incorporated. That entry exposes to some the ideas believers have about sexual desire and what the bible says about the matter. I reference that entry here to reinforce the importance of priorities. If God is not placed as first and foremost in every aspect of a believer's life (even with sex), then the tendency to reach back using what was previously rebuked is natural - not Spiritual. To be a believer, we walk in the Spirit (Romans 8:1 AMP). Don't forget that.
If the head decides not to eat food, will the body make the head eat anyway? If the head desires to walk to the store, will the body impede him from doing so? If the head makes a financial plan to stay on budget, will the body go on an impulsive shopping spree? If the man minimizes the importance of placing God first, will the woman minimizes what is important to the man? Is the common factor, prioritize (Proverbs 3:6 AMP)? If it is, then marriage in the church is on the rise and divorce is left for sinners. That works.