The Bounced Around Grown Children of Divorce

Once upon a time there were a generation of parents strung out on their version of peace and love laced with some psychedelic value system that stemmed from a doctor's theory on how to raise a family and another doctor trying to teach you to make your self feel good with self love. Through all of that, we are here today. How do you like it so far? Feel good? Look good? Anything to be pleased about? How does your value system look? Do good and bad have cleared lines of definition? Have you waffled with the bible in maintaining what has been deemed as right for all of these years? How are your long term relationships? How are you living?

This entry came from listening to a divorced father talk about how he and his grown son don't get along and the son blames his father for the divorce. The father has distanced himself from his son's views. The divorced father might not feel it's all his fault, but he knows that his son's lack of self control has caused his son much difficulty in establishing long term healthy relationships. Its some of the harvest from a divorce, if the parents aren't watchful (Ephesians 6:4 AMP).

A woman exclaims how her daughter has no respect of anything she tells her daughter to do. They claim to have a wonderful relationship, but you couldn't tell watching the dynamics of the two of them. The mention of the divorce causes the woman to roll her eyes and call "him" an idiot out of his presence and the daughter picks a fight with her mother for no apparent reason. The divorce is more than 10 years old.

Another woman has had 3 or 4 children with 3 or 4 different men. None of which have ever been her husband and none of which chose to stay any length of time with this woman other than to sire their offspring. Coming to terms that she will not have the storybook family with a brick home and a white picket fence, she tends to do what ever she has to do to support her children. In the mean time, she becomes tired because it takes both parents to raise physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy children into successful adults (that statement in of itself put people in a tail spin). In her weariness, the words spill out without thought, "you act just like your father. I can't stand him!" In her house hold there is never any peace (Proverbs 19:13 AMP). She is always screaming about something and as a result her desire for a relationship with a man gets farther and farther from her because no one signs up to raise someone else's children, or so she's been told. What she hasn't been told is that the words she spoke over her children has come to pass. All of them act just like their fathers. And just like them, they don't want to stay around her but for now they have to because they are minors. When they get of age or just before then, they are going to try to be grown. And the cycle will continue....at least, in that gene pool. 

Back in the day, when divorce seemed to be the answer to the issues of grown adults, the children were an after thought. When asked, what about the children? The reply would be, “they are fine. Children are resilient. They’ll bounce back. It won’t be a problem.” Multiply that reason by 2 generations and what you have is a society with problems. Every child was created by 2 people. When raised by 1, that child will have issues and grow up raising more children with issues if the problems are never resolved (Proverbs 22:6 KJV).

What people, secular or Christian, need to understand is that these days there are things that are made to be done decent and in order for a reason. Understanding that hindsight is 20/20 is another thing we can use to recoup from the past and do better. Yes, it will be challenging but God. Remember He will never leave you nor forsake you. That doesn’t negate your responsibility to ask His forgiveness for the mistakes you have made and ask Him for some help. Stop being stubborn and just do it! 

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