Meanwhile, Patiently Waiting

The years continue to press on after a divorce. Bills still have to be paid and children have to be fed (1Timothy 5:8 AMP). Time can be your friend or foe. Your priorities change from keeping yourself "tight" to making sure the lights will be on another month along with running water. I recall looking at my broken nails after washing the dishes and contemplating if I could go another week without cleaning the refrigerator. I knew at one point in my life not having a manicure every 3 weeks was unheard of yet there I was with my hair pulled back in a pony tail, wearing an over sized sweatshirt, with jenky nails. Two other things I promised myself I wouldn't do. What has happened?

It's a question that is unnecessary to ask as maturity finds there are much more important things to do. Disregarding the condition of my manicure I delved head first into a career. It was as if all of the work, schooling, and sacrifice I did were for nothing. Why hadn't things happened as I hoped for them (Matthew 6:33 AMP)? Flopped on the couch in a self assessment journey and coming up on my high school reunion I knew I wasn't going to attend, my son tells me, "OK Mom, it's time for you to remarry."

Squashing all of the sarcastic answers that immediately came to mind, I thanked him for giving me his permission. When he was much younger he asked when I was going to start dating, I told him it was more important for us (including him) to do our jobs well and then we will see. That answer seemed to please him (his job was to do well in school and make his bed). But now he was concerned with my happiness and for me not to be alone as my senior years would swiftly approach. I appreciate my children and thank God for giving me the insight on how to raise them. Children truly are a blessing (Psalm 127:3 AMP).   

In the purposes of dating for marriage, I looked at what my son asked objectively, those years ago. What 
did he expect me to do? The man comes to find his wife and not vice versa. He knows that. In the mean time, I should be doing something - right? I wasn't motivated to go to the nail salon anymore. I felt like I could put my money to better use. So I learned to paint my own nails. I had to also study on how to maintain my own hair proficiently. Lastly, was getting this body into shape. Sigh...small steps. The rest of it, I already had a degree and was being encouraged to continue with my education (Hosea 4:6 KJV). I also learned about maintaining a business so when I am ready to quit working the 9-5, I can do so without any regrets (Proverbs 31:10-31 AMP).

The reason for this entry was the scripture about the parable of talents (Matthew 25:14-30 AMP). It was the last person that was also given a talent. He/she put the talent away so when the master returns, he/she could give the talent back because the fear was too great for him/her to waste or lose it. I meditated on that during that self assessment and who was I going to help after the divorce was final. I had 4 sons and a daughter to raise and they are to have families of their own. If that man never finds me, that's his issue with God (Proverbs 18:22 AMP). In the mean time, I have a duty to help someone, right? Volunteering is an avenue as well as being a philanthropist. There are ministries, hospitals, senior centers, and veteran communities where help is welcome. You see, never put yourself in a pigeon hole or allow for the enemy to whisper where you are falling short. God has a way for you too. Stop worrying about marriage and how much longer before he comes to find you. Keep your anointing fresh and be about your Father's business too (like Jesus). If you have children to raise, make them a priority for those children to have the best childhood that you can provide. You see, that is being a help too (Proverbs 22:6 AMP).

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