...And Then The Novelty Wares Off

There is this wonderful, exuberant time in every relationship where the tingles and butterflies pale in comparison with what goes on within you when you see that special person you have agreed to be a major factor in your life.  Don't mistake how great the feeling is when you have a liking for someone and they don't know you even exist - that's cool too especially when you are a child. It's the agreement of two people believing and knowing that the compatibility is everything you could ever think it would be. Having like interests, conversations that aren't difficult, family values are equally treasured, and the roles that each have are obvious and not debatable.

Eventually, the conversation changes because you both question where the relationship is going. Is this long term or something to do over the Summer? It's a scary thing to approach if you are immature. Grown folks have had discussions like this before. The sooner you find what the other person is looking for, the better. Everybody would love to keep those tingly feelings alive for as long as you can and would hate to ruin it, but like everything in life, change is inevitable. You need to find if the other person is in love with the novelty of love or is there a future with him/her?

The novelty of love?

There are those that love the feelings of what they think is love and then when reality bites, they are off to find those feelings with someone else. That sounds like an addict and to some degree, that is exactly what it is. The person is never satisfied no matter if the person he/she is with is truly in love with
him/her or not. The feelings are not tingly. The butterflies have fluttered away. The conversation is boring and he/she never liked what you liked anyway. Does it become real and the conversation about where the relationship is growing is about to happen or is the absence of those initial feelings tell all that you need to know?

There were these guys answering questions to women about "what men want" at a dating forum. A woman asked, "if a man has a girlfriend but likes me, should I keep dating him waiting for him to leave her?" To all of us, the solution is a no brainer; however, the answer..., I don't know? He said to her, "yes, I would date you because you fit in when my girlfriend got on my nerves and I don't like her for right now."  He then said something that I thought would have culminated it for the woman asking the question. He said, "I still love my girlfriend and you, as the side chick would never be someone I would ask to be my wife!" He said he loves his girlfriend but doesn't like her right now. I read the comments from other women to see if they understood what this man was saying. They did not. For the most part, they applauded him for being honest and the woman asking the question needs to value herself more. Yikes!

Has it become the norm to be thirsty (desperate)? Have men accepted that it is their role to test all of the other women intimately no matter if he is married or not? Have women allowed it to be their plight just as long as he knows that he has to come home? Have people forgot just because they don't go to Sunday School that the Word of God is still prevalent? The Word tells us not to mock God for as a man soweth, so shall he reap? Sowing seeds of infidelity doesn't harvest affection and compatibility. If you believe opposites attract you can't complain when in opposition most of the time!


For whatever the reason, it has been mentioned less over the years that God is love. The mind boggles when a believer says the ever popular verse, "greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world." Yet, how can one fall out of love with someone that he/she promised until death? God is love. Fall out of love and is a believer? Make it make sense?

So now answer the question, can there be a novelty of love wearing off when the root of it all is God? We learn that it is impossible to please Him without faith; and therefore we practice walking in just that. Why? Because we wish to please Him (Hebrews 11:6 AMP). We learn to be holy for He is holy (1 Peter 1:15-16 AMP). Why? To be more like Him. He is love and therefore, it is how we think, act, speak and do. Why? Because He made man in His image and it is sin that separates that relationship. Now think about what you have heard and what has become the normal thing to say out in the world. Can someone fall out of love? As a believer, if someone falls out of love, what happens to his walk in Christ? Can he/she still walk in love with everyone else and be out of love with the one he/she promised devotion to (Ephesians 5:1-3 AMP)?




                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Where Beauty Fades, Real Attraction Begins

Image
This blog originally served as refreshers notes for my children. It then became larger than that when people outside of my family asked me questions about my belief system. The biggest question that posed opposition for me was, why aren't you married, yet? I paused and took a deep breath thinking with all of these entries, the answer would be obvious. A pastor of a well known ministry incorporated in his sermon that when he was dating he asked the Lord what sort of wife he wanted. He had a list of what he expected her to look like because it is what he found he was attracted to ( James 1:11 AMP ). She had to have a certain complexion, tiny in the waist, wide in the hips and shapely legs. Assuming he thought it not necessary to ask that she be a born again believer; it was one of the things he seemed not to mention. When he saw his wife to be, he was at a loss for words. He was so pleased with who he knew was perfect for him. Eventually, the pastor's now wife would begin to prea
Read more

Warts And All

Image
Social media continually evolves to where it is today. This comes from what people migrate to and based upon the current trends that influences the masses. There was a thread posted on a popular website where the question of marital vows are sanctioned by God. Truth be told, I asked the question. The focus was if the ambiguity of the vows were concentrated on fear. If not, then why won't a man include loving her as Christ loves the church in the wedding vows (Ephesians 5:25 KJV)? The group the question was asked is full of outspoken members. It wasn't surprising, seeing that the group is made up of mostly men, there were some hours that passed before answered. I specifically asked for scripture references seeing that an opinion would not be of any interest to me. Why that request, at first was disregarded, was also not surprising. However, I was surprised for a pastor to state that the love of both people was obvious and unnecessary to mention in the vows. Sigh. A young, single
Read more

Elderly and Foolish

Image
 The Word of God tells us not to call anyone a fool ( Matthew 5:22 AMP ) and to have a good reputation so not to be discredited ( 1 Timothy 3:7 AMP ) So, what would you call it when you notice that the older aren’t teaching the younger and the acts of the elderly make no sense, especially when they know better? Over the years, my career has given me invaluable experiences; however, there was a position I held in a senior community where I was really expecting a vast of information. There were at least 150 residents that I engaged with conversations and activities. My expectation was for the women to build a rapport with me to tell me some things I didn’t already know, complete with colorful stories. That did not happen. What I did hear were the things they didn’t say. I saw what they looked like as months passed when no one came to visit them. Or when the family did pay a visit, members stayed on the phone or spoke to their parent as if talking to a child. The elderly male residents se
Read more