Presumed to be Fruitful

I believe the Lord had me write this blog in 2008 because it was going to take more research to finish the book I completed some years ago. The necessity of the blog started when I was at the library designing the cover because at the time I didn't own a computer, and a woman saw the title and asked if I was going to write a chapter on co-habitating. How many times have I used the word, gob-smacked? Clearly, along with the title of it being for singles, there was the word, Christian. Did I miss something? I paused before answering her with a resounding, of course. Then into prayer I went because how does one write about something that is clearly oppositional to what we know?

So there I was staring at the title and having no clue what to write in that regard. Then I remembered the 23rd Psalms where the Lord prepared a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Aside from the questions I had asked previously (Why? Why God, why?), I needed to know where did these enemies come from and why are they in my presence?

Alright, and down the rabbit hole we go. You see, the bible is written for believers. The unbeliever reads the scriptures to dispute them, not for guidance. The pastor shepherds all who come and have ears to hear. There are various maturation levels sitting in the pews, including those that still need to be delivered from the things that are displeasing to the Lord. Have you met a brother/sister in Christ that didn't like you for no reason at all? How about those that are dealing with jealousy/or envy? And that's how you know that there are enemies sitting right next to you in the congregation. Do you recall how we fight them? We use our weapons of warfare that are mighty through the pulling down of strongholds (2 Corinthians 10:3-6 AMP). You pray unceasingly and bless those that spitefully use you (Luke 6:28 AMP). You love your enemies and agree with them (Matthew 5:43-48 AMP). Does that seem like a bit much?

How can you sharpen iron with those that have the fruit of the Holy Spirit when you can't pray for those that haven't? Where is the love? Love has not been defined well enough for people to understand that it is necessary in order to walk this spiritual walk. When God gave His only begotten Son in order for the relationship between man and God be restored, that is love. When Jesus died for the sins of the world, that is love. What could we possibly do in comparison? What greatness do we have absent of Him to do such selfless acts? Answer, we cannot. It is through Him that we can be holy for He is holy. It is through Him that we are able to pray for someone that meant hurt, harm, or danger to us. It is through Him that we begin to understand that our finite ability is made through the One who is infinite. God is love. If there is no understanding of Him, he/she cannot tell you how much he/she loves you in a relationship. This is the rock by which the church is built. This is the rock by which relationships can grow. This is the rock by which communities thrive. Can you not see this?!!

A man had an extramarital affair and confessed to his wife, he adds, "it didn't mean anything. It was just sex." Initially upset, the wife forgives her husband for his indiscretion. When asked how could she forgive him for what he has done? She answers, "because I see that he loves me and he is a good father to our children." This scenario has played repeatedly over the years in various sitcoms, talk-shows, and dramatic movies; however, in the life of a Christian, is there truth in any of it?

A man and his wife seeks marital counseling from their pastor. The man is upset because he has married a woman who was doing what he liked sexually but now that they are married she had confessed to her husband that she no longer likes doing that particular intimate act. The husband is angry because he has married this woman for life and knows that what he married her for, he will not be getting. Where should the counseling begin? Who is in the wrong? Where is the love in this scenario? 

A husband and wife wake up together at the same time and begin their day. He goes in the shower and she goes to the basement to work out in the home/gym. After 30 minutes, she gets the coffee pot started just before getting in the shower and her husband gets dressed for the day. By the time she comes back to the kitchen fully dressed, he is sitting at the table going through his planner on his phone and sipping on his first cup of coffee. There is a ping on his phone. He gets up, grabs his coat and heads for the door, before closing it behind him, he peers over his shoulder to see his wife sipping on her coffee and laughing at something she saw on social media. He hollers back, "have a good day." She mumbles, "uh-huh." It's their routine. Is it faulty? Can a stronghold grab ahold? Why or why not? Where is the love?

Technology has made vast improvements for medicine to be able to pinpoint a specific diagnosis, for society to make appointments easier, banking more efficient, pay our bills and shop more conveniently. However in this new age of quick efficiency comes the predators that wait for you to be distracted. Assuming that the improvements come safe guarded, you would be mistaken. With every effort that makes life easier would mean for the believer to be even more vigilant with maintaining the whole armor, be watchful, and stay prayerful. Just as the enemy does his job, the Holy Spirit is there as well. 

There are too many entries in this blog to not know better before getting into a partnership,

friendship, or leading into a long lasting intimate relationship (marriage). These next few entries are to understand that every tree bares some sort of fruit. Know the difference in the fruit you desire. In the scenarios above, the man who had the extra-marital affair and dismisses the questionable behavior with, it was just sex and it didn't mean anything. If it means nothing, why do it? Wouldn't that be a waste of time? If it means nothing why is it such a necessity in a marriage? If it means nothing, why not do this openly for all to see? If it means nothing would the same attitude exist for him if she did the same thing? To the wife, it is wonderful to have a forgiving heart; however, do not dismiss the behavior without serious discussion. If the behavior is dismissed, are you devaluing yourself (Psalm 139:14 AMP)? If not, are you thinking of yourself to high like the last days where men are described as being lover's of self? Also, and it being the most important question, if he loves his wife (as Christ loves the church), would he have had an extra-marital affair? And if he is a good father, that would be in the category of being a good role model. Would you want your children to this same thing to their spouses? This is not being a good father and he does not love his wife. Can you see that?

The upset man seeking marital counseling because his wife doesn't want to participate in an intimate act that she used to do before marriage. How would that counseling session begin? Did you just accept Jesus as Lord yesterday? How long have you been a believer? Since childhood? Seriously? Both of you? Where in the bible does it tell us to try out the sex before marriage (1 Corinthians 7:5 AMP)? Huh? When did the definition of love (God) tell you to do that? Now let's figure out who are you mad at? God? Her? You? Choose. Wait, I thought you already did (Proverbs 18:21 AMP). You said you are a believer - right?

The last scenario where there seems to be time for everything else but each other. Wasn't this the same behavior when the two were single? If that is true, can one or both be distracted? No, not even for a moment to contemplate or to fantasize? Be honest, because it is what you did when you were single. When has she done anything with her husband and him being the head of her, when was the last time he prayed for her, blessed her, made sure she felt secure and safe? When he does, it is reciprocated. She couldn't help but do the same for him. Don't believe me? The Word says otherwise. Who are you going to put your trust in (Proverbs 3:5-6 AMP)?