Making It Plain

I have met many men who are interested in marriage. They have a certain criteria by which they already know what type of wife would be ideal for them. I am amazed at how many young men even form the words out of their mouths that they are looking for a woman to take care of them (1 is too many). Essentially, they are saying without saying that they are looking for a Mommy to sleep with. Yuck! My question to all of the young men I have counseled over the years (including my sons). Why would you incorporate someone into your mess? Invariably, the answer would be (not my sons, they know better), "God created woman for the man and she is supposed to be the help mate." I would sigh and agree for it is the Word and thank God they know that much of it. I just wonder why do they skip over that the man is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25 AMP). If you recall, He sacrificed His life for her. Now what gentlemen? Are you willing to do that? And then ...

They (not the bible) say that women like "bad boys" for the purpose of reforming them. I don't know of any woman who willingly gets into a relationship so she can be a mother to a man that she sleeps with. In a word, ew! What I know women will gravitate toward a man she knows will protect her. "Bad boys" usually come packing and are territorial. Of course, you do run into those that are really bad to the point of drive-bys, sting operations needed, prison, and eventually if not ultimately death; which then comes with the woman grieving and regretting. If there are children, then you contend with rebellion, revenge, and repeating the cycle of being "bad". The bible has a completely different slant on the appeal of a "bad boy". Proverbs 24:1-2 (AMP) states be not envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them; for their minds plot oppression and devise violence, and their lips talk of causing trouble and vexation. That scripture first addr...

Joyce Meyer , a well known sort of tele-evangelist and traveling minister, said something that is quite thought provoking. She proclaimed that she would get along with everyone from now on. She was doing well and then someone came home. Well, at least Joyce liked herself well enough to tolerate being alone and enjoys her own company. How many of us need an entourage to get through the day? How many can't keep enough friends to call an entourage, or a pack, or a few, or even a couple? This maybe the answer as to why you don't have friends or those that hang with you, you really don't like. Do you like you? Will Smith was interviewed on TV One Network and concluded the program by saying that his success was based on something Confucius said, in order to be strong you must have at least 10 strong people that you are close to, around you. Being Christian, I know we don't follow Confucius or Will Smith for that matter; however, I am knocking out two evils with one s...

It is an enormous responsibility in becoming a parent. Caring for a child that God has entrusted you with in every aspect of his/her life for that child to grow to be healthy, productive, and a successful adult (Proverbs 22:6 KJV). If all parents had this in mind, would the state of the world be what it is? Is that responsibility too overwhelming to think about? Then why would one believe that a child could mend a relationship? Relationships have their own dynamics. If one cog, like a machine is out of place the answer isn't to throw a wrench at it for it to work again. To make a good relationship one believes it is hard work. Its simply not true. Hard work comes from other places and has filtered  its way into the dynamics through blame, self gratification, and other behavior not conducive to holiness; but let's unfold this tapestry one seam at a time. The reason I started off with children  is that they don't know any better unless they are taught. Contrary to a libe...

I was watching a couple on some reality T.V. program as he had a discussion with her about marriage. He was interested in her but still had some issues as to where her mind was with their relationship and making a full commitment. So he asked some half hearted proposal; like, "what if I asked you to marry me?" Why would any woman answer that question? This same question was asked of an older woman but with a man having the same issues as the couple aforementioned on a different show. She looked at him and said, "I dont know, why don't you ask me." He sheepishly smiled and didn't ask. Now with both of these scenarios I can almost feel the tension of both men and women wondering if they should go ahead and answer the question as it was presented or don't bother asking at all. In both cases the answer would be no, don't answer the question and don't even ask. When I was 13 this 17 year old guy use to come around my mother's home to see me ...

Everyone loves to make a good first impression. We primp and take long looks in the mirror so we don't have anything disgusting hanging out of our noses, no spinach between the teeth and every single hair be in place. We learn to speak eloquently with charm and a hint of wit so not to be obnoxious but to be certain that when we leave a room or the person, there is a lasting affect that we have made - the impression. That impression, the word itself tells us what we are trying to do. To press an image on the mind of the other. That image we manipulate for it to be a good one. Much like a virtual photoshop. It has been a long time since I have been surprised with what technology can do to a photograph these days. It is what makes marketing a placebo into a multi-million dollar diet pill. A commercial presses the image on your mind for you to need that product. It is what motivational speakers and human resource courses teach us in order to get the job. We have learned so much and a...

It is the question the world has which reasonably makes sense when marriage is the factor as opposed to having pre-marital sex. Reasonably? Yes, we can reason to do whatever and when found in trouble still in complete ignorance and destainable foolishness, justify the reason for doing it. Also notice that past tense was used for having the question because the use of the cow and milk analogy is archaic along with the one about purchasing a car without test driving it or buying a house without having the walk through and the like. Why? Because it isn't difficult to find sex as it once was. Men use to enjoy the chase  and while still running he comes to the realization of his own foolishness. One use to believe this realization was his manhood. Why use to? Well, manhood is defined in different ways now and because in 7 years he will wonder if he still "has it." The "it" is called the "itch" and these days, women have it too. There is no need in definin...