Making It Plain

When do you believe it is the time to change for a man? When he tells you to? When you find that the things you do irritate him? When you are already married and there is nothing you do that seems to be right? When he takes his fist and beats you like he created you or has every right to retrain you different from your parents? Tough questions? No what is tough is to hear the wrong answers. It is what I asked and heard as I counseled women who were victims of domestic violence. I know, I know there is no reason to get so deep on such a light matter as dating; afterall what Christian man who fears the Lord would do such a thing to someone else's daughter? Believe it or not, it happens and more so than we would care to think. The worst of it is the "Christian" label makes it more of a reason for it to be hush-hush. But I was thinking, the more I have seen in the church the way some people reason like the world, the more I wondered if there is some other mess that has filt...

If we were going to be completely honest with ourselves, we could agree that there is only one perfect man - Jesus Christ. Having that written above and it now being digested, we can move on with our lives not obsessing over the best catch for a man nor boasting that you are God's gift to all women. Christian women will still use Jesus as the model by which to assess the suitors that are attracted to them. Some men become jealous, overwhelmed, and aggravated by the assessment because in order to measure up to that standard, would qualify too much to do. So instead men have degraded women to take the attention off of their short comings and women remain single as the years progress or they remove the standard and settle for whatever comes along living in regret and despair. Sounds bleak and actually depressing from that point of view; however, I challenge those devoted to being a Christian. What does that mean? Doesn't Christian connotate to be more Christ like? Doesn't...

Does she really exist? As much as we have heard about writing the vision and making it plain so we could have a plan while striving for the goal - what happens when women become perfect or the man finds her? It is written that we strive for perfection. Does that mean being excessively compulsive? Being obsessive is showing signs of anxiety. The Word tells us to be anxious for nothing; therefore, obsessing over perfection whether that being to get there or to obtain it in a wife would be wrong. So then what are we doing and what is it that a man should be looking for? It is written for us to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all of these things shall be added unto you (Matthew 6:33 KJV). That scripture gives us all 3 things to do: 1. The Vision - it is already written and has been made plain. 2. It Prioritizes - what we should be doing first, above all else; which means it is paramount. 3. If we complete the priority everything else is just a matter of aski...

Do you remember a movie entitled, "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka"  starring and directed by Keenan Ivory Wayans? If not, you should see it. Though released over 20 years ago (1988), it was one of the first African American films that had me laughing so hard I couldn't hardly breathe. At least with home viewing you can stop the DVD finish processing the scene, get up from rolling on the floor laughing, and start it again. Anyway, in the movie there was this one scene when Keenan's character met the woman of his dreams. She seemed to have fit all of his criteria and she was just as interested in him as he was in her. Not showing any signs of restraint they took it to another level and was going to have sex. She decided to be completely honest with him right then and show that all he saw that he was attracted to came off when she went to bed. When she was finished discarding all of her man-made parts, she began to hobble after him and his affection for her that he once h...

I have met many men who are interested in marriage. They have a certain criteria by which they already know what type of wife would be ideal for them. I am amazed at how many young men even form the words out of their mouths that they are looking for a woman to take care of them (1 is too many). Essentially, they are saying without saying that they are looking for a Mommy to sleep with. Yuck! My question to all of the young men I have counseled over the years (including my sons). Why would you incorporate someone into your mess? Invariably, the answer would be (not my sons, they know better), "God created woman for the man and she is supposed to be the help mate." I would sigh and agree for it is the Word and thank God they know that much of it. I just wonder why do they skip over that the man is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25 AMP). If you recall, He sacrificed His life for her. Now what gentlemen? Are you willing to do that? And then ...

They (not the bible) say that women like "bad boys" for the purpose of reforming them. I don't know of any woman who willingly gets into a relationship so she can be a mother to a man that she sleeps with. In a word, ew! What I know women will gravitate toward a man she knows will protect her. "Bad boys" usually come packing and are territorial. Of course, you do run into those that are really bad to the point of drive-bys, sting operations needed, prison, and eventually if not ultimately death; which then comes with the woman grieving and regretting. If there are children, then you contend with rebellion, revenge, and repeating the cycle of being "bad". The bible has a completely different slant on the appeal of a "bad boy". Proverbs 24:1-2 (AMP) states be not envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them; for their minds plot oppression and devise violence, and their lips talk of causing trouble and vexation. That scripture first addr...

Joyce Meyer , a well known sort of tele-evangelist and traveling minister, said something that is quite thought provoking. She proclaimed that she would get along with everyone from now on. She was doing well and then someone came home. Well, at least Joyce liked herself well enough to tolerate being alone and enjoys her own company. How many of us need an entourage to get through the day? How many can't keep enough friends to call an entourage, or a pack, or a few, or even a couple? This maybe the answer as to why you don't have friends or those that hang with you, you really don't like. Do you like you? Will Smith was interviewed on TV One Network and concluded the program by saying that his success was based on something Confucius said, in order to be strong you must have at least 10 strong people that you are close to, around you. Being Christian, I know we don't follow Confucius or Will Smith for that matter; however, I am knocking out two evils with one s...