Who Loves You, Baby?

 Jenifer Lewis, a well known actress for many years and currently co-starring in the popular (yet cancelled) sit-com, Black-ish, made an interesting statement that assisted with the misunderstood notion written in these next few sentences. Aside from the "colorful" language and mannerisms that makes her the actress she is, she said something like, "look at yourself in a mirror. Who do you see? Once you get passed the tears, you have to love who you are." The misunderstood notion: you should never be a lover of yourself.

Now, the task Ms. Lewis mentions would seem pretty elemental (look at yourself in the mirror). The question she says is pretty obvious (who do you see?). The direction though had me scratching my head wondering, if this would be necessary in these days and times (you have to love who you are). Aren't we past this point and ready to get our teeth into the meat and potatoes of a relationship already? And the answer is sadly, no. Why?

In talking about dating and relationships, I always wondered where the people are in Christ before answering their questions. I go through a series of getting to know you first and then we continue with our conversation. I do this to avoid confusion and unnecessary arguing (Proverbs 15:18 AMP). There is no point in a raised voice to an immature person in Christ just to see something that he/she is not ready to process. As well, with those who have no intentions enveloping the Christian lifestyle, why cast away my pearls? With these conversations, it is fascinating with how men still puts an importance on her being a good cook in order to be a suitable wife or that she is able to keep a clean house as criteria before she can get a ring (Proverbs 31:10 AMP). I sigh and then ask, "what about you? Are you suitable to be a good husband?" This is when it becomes quiet, the expressions change as if I am a man-basher not being neutral in answering their questions (2 Timothy 2:23-26 AMP). That would be further from the truth. Nevertheless, broccoli never tastes good, at first. It still doesn't mean that it is not good for you. 

The Word tells us that in the last days, men would be lovers of self (2 Timothy 2:3 AMP). From what I understand this would mean that before anyone else, he makes sure all that he has is in place and even when seeing someone else in need, he hears but doesn't want to give any of his property away. He might need it, he says, you never know. There is no consideration of humanity and the golden rule has been tossed. Go ahead, ask a “millennial “ what the golden rule is. The answer should solidify that the last days are truly upon us.

When the Word tells men that in a marriage, the two have become one, this is not only agreement but that he must make sure that all is well with her and because he makes that effort she does the same for him. This is a system that God has in place for those who marry and being mature in Him. Only mature people should marry. Let me allow for you to read that again: only mature people in Christ should marry.

Think about a newborn baby. Visualize the parents waking up at all hours of the night to feed, change, burp, and play with the baby because the baby is uncomfortable, bored, and just fussy.  Babies don’t care. And why should they? Do you know people like that? Consideration, love, kindness, and the fruit of the Holy Spirit are learned behaviors (Galatians 5:22-23 AMP). These attributes have been studied and walked out habitually. It is what God is looking for in gathering a church for Jesus’ bride. It is what men should be looking for in finding a suitable wife. The attributes are from God and for man to reflect Him. Are you still finding this to be hard? Considering what you have read in this entry, answer the title of it. Who loves you...baby?